she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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