So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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