Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My dick has a subreddit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize