bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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