rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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