Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
