when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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