Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize