i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
