i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
