I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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