Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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