i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think your dad took our porno
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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