no. you can't hotbox the world.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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