I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
