Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
