Betty ford says i'm here all night
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
