There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
