I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
