She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize