things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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