my vag is so smooth its legendary
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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