when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
