the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
