i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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