I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
