I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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