So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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