if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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