Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
