my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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