dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
