they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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