Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
