fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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