I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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