I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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