After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
