He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
