drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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