If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
