38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
