First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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