Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
