You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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