I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
