but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just had sex on a roof
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize