Nicole vs. Life
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
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