So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
