Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
