I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I need moral support for this bender
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
