we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
