I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
