I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
