his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
