woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
