i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
