He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
