Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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