So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize