What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
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Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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