I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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